when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
