Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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