I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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