The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
