i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
