Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
