she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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