Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
