theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
