Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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