If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
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