You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
