Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
