dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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