oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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