before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
