i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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