I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
