So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
