also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
