he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
