Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
