I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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