Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
