Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
