That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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