Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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