Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am one with the molecules
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
