So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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