I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
