I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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