So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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