kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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