Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
