somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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