I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
