i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
