She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Drunk is not a location!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
