Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
