so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
