I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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