it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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