he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
