Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
wow bdsm is so cute
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