this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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