i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
