I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
