That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
bring money and cleavage
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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