How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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