As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
