PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
