Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
